Captain Kirk

Captain Kirk

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Kirk vs. Picard For the Umpteenth Time

Thanks to Nikki for letting us know that has boldly gone where freakin' EVERYBODY has gone before and we wish to Grapthar we could stop going along!

As usual, the real entertainment is in the comments.

It’s a well-documented fact that the daughters of those who prefer Kirk grow up to become strippers.
Who says Trekkies never get out of their parents' basement.

Picard is a little too dramatic. A stentorian Shakespearian actor certainly seems hammish and bizarre captaining a ship. Everything he speaks seems artificially either over dramatic or carefully subdued. Each one too much to feel natural.
This is the first! time! EVER! that Patrick Stewart has been accused of being hammier than Bill. One for the record books.

The Prime Directive is for sallies.
Not exactly relevant but nonetheless entertaining.

Kirk. Jeez. How is this even a discussion?
Don't ask me, I'm just a podcaster.

And in closing...
And anybody who grew up with TNG, instead of the original series, shouldn’t get a say.
Amen to that.

No! More! Bloody Singing!

TNMC summarizes scenes cut from Star Trek XI.
Finally, at the end of the script is provided an alternate take on the scene in which Spock and Spock Prime meet. Before saying goodbye, Spock Prime hands Spock a locket. Spock activates the locket and sees a holographic video of Kirk, and by that I mean Shatner, singing happy birthday to Spock and congratulating him on becoming an ambassador. The message continues, basically telling Spock that the two of them should get back together one more time with a starship and just... explore.

The writer goes on to speculate why this scene was cut. Doesn't mention how incredibly slashy it would have been for Kirk to send Spock a locket (ew!) or that this would have been the Trek movies' second-most embarrassing musical moment, the first being "Row Row Row Your Boat" from STV. That's #1 because they weren't happy with how stupid & sappy it was the first time so they reprised it! OUCH!

Maynard Chats Up the Butt Girls AGAIN!

We love him. Here's our latest insane ramblings about the movie and a bunch of other crazy stuff.

You should all subscribe to his podcast, Maynard's Malaise!

Monday, June 29, 2009


Yes, friends, the Butt Girls will appear at Thrillville's Shatfest, this year in San Francisco!

As if that weren't enough, it's a double feature!


Kingdom of the Spiders!

Thursday, July 23 at 7:30 p.m.
Admission $12
4 Star Theater (Clement at 23rd Avenue)

William Shatner, Career Counselor

Rule #1--Ask yourself: What would Bill do?
Shatner describes his career plan as "answering the phone." When someone called to say, "I've got a part for you," he had work.

"Sorry, I have to take this call."

Full article at the Courier Post Online.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Nichelle and Uhura RULE.

Once again Frederick at My Star Trek Scrapbook brings the awesome with a fantastic post about Uhura, featuring some amazing shots of Nichelle. I reproduce my two favorites here.

HOW CAN ANYONE NOT LOVE UHURA??? Three cheers for Captain Uhura and Her All-Girl Band!

And check out this gorgeous Frank Kelly Freas portrait.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Trek PEZ dispensers as Flash Drives!

I so want one! You can get Uhura, Sulu, and the Enterprise. No word on whether Kirk will be available. We suspect that one is SOLD OUT.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Show #109 - June 20

Episode 109 on MP3

Bill shills for stairs!
Shop with a Shatner?
William Shatner cologne? Send in your suggestions!
Jack Lemmon as Daphne in Spock's Brain?
New Think Geek catalog!
Go to My Star Trek Scrapbook!
Ultimate TOS Communicator Site at HeroComm!

Follow us on Twitter and leave reviews on iTunes!

Bill's E-Z Stairs video ad

Oh, Bill.

You can go to the website to watch it, or click here.

(I would have embedded it, but I couldn't figure out how to get it to stop playing automatically - and NO ONE wants to see this fucking thing play automatically ever time they visit the blog.)

Bill's E-Z Stairs print ad

SERIOUSLY? They used a 20 year old picture of him? This is really starting to reek of blackmail. What did he do to the stairs people to deserve this??


Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Save the Date!

Your own Shatner Butt Girls will appear at the San Francisco Theater Festival on Sunday, July 26.

Location: Metreon 4 Stage
Time: 12:20 pm
Price: FREE!

More info here.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Xmas with Crazy Pike!

Because nothing says Happy Holidays like a radiation-scarred Captain Pike tree ornament.

Press the button and you get dialogue from Kirk and Spock, and some beeps from Pike. And his lights work! Isn't that precious?

But check this out:

The one on the left is the image from main Hallmark page, and the one on the right is a screencap from the video you can watch from said page. I suspect the one they've used for the main page is a prototype or something, as the quality is much higher and it actually looks like Pike from the episode. But look how crappy the production version is! It doesn't look anything like him! His eyes are wide open, and his skin color is normal! THIS IS A DISASTER!

Also, Kirk?

Looks like Henry Winkler.


Start Your Week Off Right

Good work, Fresca!

Kirk and Spock Review the New Movie

"We should nevertheless destroy it." LOL!

Sunday, June 14, 2009

In Honor of the NBA Playoffs - BASKETS!

Click to embiggen.

Bill with manpurse and basket

Manpurse and basket closeup

Bill + Pretty Girls = BASKET!

Found these treasures and more at

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Speaking of motorcycle accidents

It probably goes without saying but I'll say it anyway: LOOK AT HIS BUTT!

From our buddy at My Star Trek Scrapbook.

Bill by Ben Folds

Found this via @BenjaminFolds on Twitter - he took the pic about four years ago, after Bill crashed his motorcycle. We discussed the accident on the show but I can't remember which one. What a GREAT picture.

You can see the original post here, where the image is much bigger, and read the wonderful comments, the best of which is "That man will live forever!"

Monday, June 08, 2009

Other Than Bill...

Other than Bill (who's facing away from the camera almost the whole time), there's only one person in this video we wish we had been there to meet. And no, it ain't Tommy Turvy.

Can you guess who?

Thursday, June 04, 2009

Two great photos

We've been terribly remiss on spreading the word about the My Star Trek Scrapbook (mentioned some months ago), which continues to be awesome. Frederick posted two great pictures, with comments, which I now share with you.

"What you don't see in this cozy shot is the knife Nichelle is holding behind his back."
(Lene adds: Also a great shot of Kirk doing his Bill the Cat impression)

"The crew reacts as the young Kirk gets the snot beat out of him again in the new movie about their exploits."

Butt Girls Log

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Show #108 - June 4

Episode 108 on MP3

Questions about the MOVIE!

Where do they go from here?
How would Shatner!Kirk rate Pine!Kirk?
Kung Fu Monkey blog discussion about Trek - the Trek/Jesus quiz
News about Bill!
Pine and Quinto on SNL
Marjorie outtakes

Memory Alpha about NCC:

For those of you curious as to the origin of "Naval Construction Code", Mada101 is correct. It comes from a Diane Carey novel entitled Star Trek: Best Destiny (ISBN 0671795872) and features an "origin" story about James Kirk's early years aboard the first USS Enterprise and his father, Commander George Kirk and Captain Robert April through a series of flashbacks. At the beginning of several different chapters, the novel sets the scene location by utilizing the ship's name followed by the words "Naval Construction Contract 1701-A" or "Naval Experimental 2001" referring to a non-cannon starship USS Bill of Rights. From that novel, many acronym websites have decided to use that designation as hard canon fact, when we all know that most of the novels are not canon.

And Wikipedia:
NCC doesn't stand for anything. It was devised by Matt Jefferies, art director of the first Star Trek series. Jefferies, who is a pilot, based NCC on 20th century aircraft registration codes. In such 20th century usage, an "N" first letter refers to an aircraft registered in the USA. A "C" second letter refers to a civil aircraft. Jefferies added a second "C", just because he thought it looked better. Think of it as being like the arbitrary three-letter code that's part of automobile license plate numbers in many states.

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Presenting ... THE KIRKULATOR!

Inspired by the Trekulator.

You want lens flare? I gotcha lens flare right here.

OK, I know I'll never compete with Lene (builder of the lightsaber-dildo and dress designer to Captain Brandt) but I NOW HAVE A KIRKULATOR!!!!

Herb Solow reviews Star Trek XI

It's very interesting to see which characterizations he takes issue with.

The original article is at but the comments (yay!) are at

Rude Person came out of the cave to post this gem:
all of the people who majorly complained about the spelling error have imbalanced lives.

people, there i no reason to get worked up over a spelling oversite.

–on to Solow’s review.. i like that, and he hit Nimoy’s Spock dot on! with the, “tthe centuries of knowledge that always lurked in his eyes.” comment.

i think Quinto will put that into Spock as the movies progress.. ;)


-im going to watch this movie again this weekend :)
yeah i wish peple wuldnt' get worked up over spelling oversites ..its punkuation what counts .


I want one! Ganked from

"Check gas!" "Gas OK!"

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Captain Kirk's Favorite Weapons

According to Den of Geek...
Kirk’s best conversational skill, though, was his ability to ruin a computer faster than your grandparents would, simply by talking to it.
Well, yes, but I don't really think TALKING was his favorite - ahem- weapon.