Never Released Trek Prequel!

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Ah, the 90s, when teen movies were just the teensiest cut above an Archie comic.

Enterprise Tech Manuals - The way they should be

From Cracked.com: Instruction Manuals for the USS Enterprise



And of course, the Captain's Quarters:

Maynard + Shatner Butt Girls = International Mayhem

Aussie superstar Maynard interviews the Shatner Butt Girls. Hilarity ensues.

Maynard's Malaise podcast


We love you, Maynard! (And we admire you for trying to create the illusion of Shatner butt.)

Don't fuck with me - I'm the Security Chief!

Translation: I eat dead redshirts for breakfast.

From the Star Trek personality quiz:

Hmmm... a definite Tactical mind.

Every problem has a simple solution in your book - usually involving explosions and knives.

You're blunt but effective, perfect for the blue shirt of a Security Chief.

And you are...?
Identify yourself.

The one! The only! CAPTAIN! KIRK!

Before the movie opens and a whole new can of worms opens with it, Ree Hines of msnbc.com makes it perfectly clear.

Everything we know about Kirk, we learned from Shatner. The man at the helm of the U.S.S. Enterprise wasn’t just created by the late, great Gene Roddenberry. You can’t write a character like Kirk. The swagger, the staccato delivery, the ever-present smirk — those come to life in the actor. Roddenberry gave him a backstory [...] but Shatner gave the captain life.

More

SF Chronicle's Man-Crush on Trek, Kirk, and Bill

This weekend's San Francisco Chronicle had a whole bunch of great coverage on Trek - not the new movie, but CLASSIC Trek, and of course there was a picture of Bill! Check out the great articles they've been running:

Best and Worst of Trek (villain, cameo, etc.)

Boldly Going for New Film Doesn't Irk Trekker

Q&A with Quinto

Trek Stuff from Burger King and a Great Typo!

Trust me, the glasses look pretty cool but I had to post this picture. Looks like a mash-up of Star Trek, South Park and chibis.

Read the article and be sure to enjoy this sentence:

There are going to be four toys offered each week for four weeks (although sometimes restaurants with more costumers tend to go through their premium items faster).

The fun starts May 4!

Mix & Match

Compare the original and replacement crew.



Thanks, Jamie!

Favorite comments:

"Blasphemy!" and "JJ Abrams is going to KILL the Star Trek franchise with this fiasco of a film. People should avoid this film like the plague, and maybe the hack that is JJ Abrams will go away." (What, no "THIS IS A DISASTER!"? For shame, fanboys, for shame.)

"I think that James T Kirk looks cross-eyed." (Taken out of context, you might think this is a comment on the Bill the Cat picture but no, take a look at the Pine picture.)

Scroll down to our previous post for a happy ending.

Him Too Much Sexy

Lovely rich purple background--yes.
Sweat--good, good.
Kirklight--oh, well done!
But there's something missing.
Oh, of course! Rip the shirt, darling. Slowly. That's right.
Music up and... oh hell, you figure it out. I'm done typing.

Why Everyone Loves Captain Kirk

Because he's the goddamn captain, that's why!

Excerpt:

And then there's the cosmic Kirk mojo - an intergalactic seduction record that makes Charlie Sheen and Mick Jagger look like high school virgins. Whether presented with a green Orion slave women, an android, or a primitive, tribal princess, Kirk could found a way into her bed. The web is littered with lists debating Kirk's greatest conquests, but he had a charm that made him seem less like a chauvinist scoundrel, and more just a lover of the moment.

Modern men can use "going to war" as an excuse for a tryst, but Kirk could use everything from "won't be back in this solar system for another 40 years" to "battling a Vulcan to death in hand-to-hand combat tomorrow" to justify his escapades. Life was short, and he flew by the seat of his pants in more ways than one.

Read the whole wonderful essay by Chris Lackner, National Post

Bill lookin' fine and ready to sign

Comic books, that is.

Bill is scheduled to take part in a book signing to correspond with National Free Comic Book Day Saturday May 2 at Golden Apple Comic in Los Angeles. More

Promo for Bill's Gonzo Ballet

Watch more USA TODAY videos on AOL Video

Shatner on ANOTHER podcast!

Believe it or don't. Check it out at

The Zombie Astronaut's Frequency of Fear - Now That's the Shat

Listen to three audio selections featuring the Shat, including two Zero Hour episodes and a Caedmon album of the Shat reading Henry Kuttner's "Mimsy Were The Borogoves".

Thanks, Special Guest Star Mike Sterling's Twitter feed!

Show #105 - April 26

Episode 105 on MP3

Lene gets a birthday present!
A little more about "Talk Like William Shatner Day" - Maurice la Marche!
Cool stuff from the Shatner Fan Club
News From Around His Butt
Questions for Eddie Paskey aka Mr. Leslie aka Bill's stand-in
Check out Bill off camera, smirking
Review of Boston Legal finale, from Australia
Wired magazine features short Trek comic
CGI Chris Pine with an EVE?
Starfleet Academy Evaluator - we suck at this



"Stay outta my Kirklight, Bones..."


EVE or trouser crease?

Quinto & Pine: Busted!

Here's a link to a new short interview for the Trek movie:

http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/up/player/popup/index.php?cl=13072944

JK says: "From the expressions on their faces (esp when the other guy is talking), they look like 2 guys trying to talk their way out of something. Like the cops have them in the interrogation room."

TOTALLY.

But also: Karl Urban does his Gary Lockwood impression! He LOOKS JUST LIKE HIM!!!

And now for something completely different: Gay Marriage!

A Gaythering Storm from Jane Lynch

Yay Jane Lynch!

Star Trek Cereal!

I WANT SOME! Even though I know it will taste like crap. This is the kind of stuff that will show up in my local Big Lots store for 49 cents a box.

Shatner Butt Girls Conquer Australia

With the help of Maynard.

We were interviewed for his show of April 21. Listeners in Oz, let us know if you hear it!

CSI does Trek

Could they cram in any MORE Trek jokes? They got the sex in the Captain's chair right, tho.

But let it be known that you CAN'T KILL WILLIAM SHATNER! It would violate the second law of thermodynamics, or something.

Did Gary Lockwood get paid for this?

Courtesy of our pal Phil Plait, the Bad Astronomer.

Entertainment Weekly's Man Crush

Top TV Lawyers

Bill and EW sittin' in a tree, K I S S I N G...

Show #104 - April 12

Episode 104 on MP3

Live show recap - go to LookAtHisButt.com for info on new shows
JK wins an ASC award for By Some Other Sea
Harlan Ellison sues Paramount
NY Times article about Captain's chairs
Star Trek wall murals
The Many Looks of Captain Kirk



A plant named Captain Kirk - a flamboyant newcomer!

Mirror, Mirror - FUNNY!

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Better Know a District - New York's 25th - Dan Maffei
colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor NASA Name Contest

About 4 minutes in...

Attention all hands! EVASIVE MANEUVERS!!!

Avoid the movie "Knowing." It. Is. Crap. And not in a fun way. Don't let the "sci-fi" label fool you.

AND WHY DOES GOD NEED A STARSHIP??????

I'm so pissed off that I have to eat ICE CREAM just to restore my normally sweet demeanor.

Now that's what I call an alternate universe!

But does he play his own instrument, hmmm?

More Bill/TOS Media!

Courtesy of the always hilarious Mike Sterling. His comments on Tiberius are too funny!


"There's something surprisingly nostalgic about how entirely non-convincing these are. Calling them "prop replica(s)," as the solicit does, seems to be pushing the definition a bit."


"Get ready for arguments over whether "K'plah" or "Qapla'" is the accepted spelling."


"This seems a tad bit...disrespectful, somehow. Though admittedly, the original Enterprise didn't seem to have any shortage of bottles of contraband Romulan Ale, so I guess a bottle opener is a fair representation. "All abord the USS Booze-a-prise! Drinking frequencies open, barkeep!""


"Cologne named after Kirk? That may be too much for any one man to live up to. I think if I were to open a bottle of this, the scent would grab a ceiling fixture and swing both feet directly into my chest."

We're a hit!

The audience at the Dragon Theatre in Palo Alto, CA went space-crazy for "Look At His Butt!"

"Real belly-laughs!"

"I really enjoyed it and thought it was fresh and creative. Hope you do it again."

"Your show was great! I particularly liked the interview with Kirk's Mom."

"The best show about Shatner's butt I've ever seen!"

"Howeird reviewed Shatner Butt Girls who did a show last Saturday as entertaining & tightly scripted - worth full price"

"Just got home from the Palo Alto show, you guys were great! I was there with my husband [...] we both loved it - particularly the K/S bit."

New podcast coming soon - Butt Girls' Honor!

It's Talk Like William Shatner Day!

And you get a free lesson!

Happy Shatmoy!

Let the festivities begin!

Entertainment Weekly plays hard to get

They don't seriously expect me to believe they're over their mancrush on Shatner, do they? Ever since I called them out on it, they're deliberately leaving him off lists he belongs on.

I submit 25 Great Bromances

And I summarize: No Kirk and Spock, no Denny and Alan (for whom the term BROMANCE was coined), no TJ and Adrian Zmed...


Entertainment Weekly, you're not fooling anyone. You! are! PWNED!

Naughty, Naughty

Bill is thinking, "I can play dead with my downstage eye and look up Majel's skirt with my upstage eye. I'm such a good actor."

OMG! not

Back in the day, there was a story that the New York Post had the headline "JUDY ATTEMPTS SUICIDE" permanently set in type. For you young 'uns, it was a snarky reference to Judy Garland's frequent suicide attempts.

Modern-day examples of such headlines would include ELVIS SIGHTED, ANGELINA JOLIE ADOPTS ORPHAN, and now, Star Trek's contribution to this tiresome pantheon...

ELLISON SUES PARAMOUNT

According to TrekToday in an article by T'Bonz on March 15, 2009:

Harlan Ellison, writer of the award-winning City on the Edge of Forever original series episode, filed suit against Paramount on March 13 for failing to account to, or pay Ellison for the merchandising, publishing or any other exploitations of his famous teleplay.

Oh, Harlan. I bet you wish you could use the Guardian of Forever and unwrite that episode. Or would your massive ego prevent you from doing so?

Paging Denny Crane, Denny Crane...

THIS IS A DISASTER!

And fan-analysis of that ilk.



Oh, love them to eat them fanboys, fanboys what we love to eat, bite they little heads off, nibble at they tiny feet!

Name This Episode!

C'mon, EVE spotters! You can dop it!

Tiberius - The Cologne

Look at the spiffy bottle and box!



It's cologne from the Mirror Universe! I still think it'll smell like cat piss, but what do I know. Check out Red Shirt:


"Because tomorrow may never come" Snerk!

No picture yet of Pon Farr, which is supposed to be a *female* fragrance!

Show #103.5 - March 7

Episode 103.5 on MP3

More about our LIVE SHOW
WonderCon wrap up, esp. the Trek panel
A few more Bill tidbits

The Cage...in Legos! Parts 1, 2, and 3

Pike vs. the Talosians. Click through here for more fantastic Lego goodness!

And Part 2

And Part 3

The Making of the Cage


"THE WOMEN!"

Bill talks about SNL

This is too funny. I never thought about how Bill would freak out about the SNL "work ethic", being the consummate professional what he is. And of course he gave it 110% and "Get a Life" is now part of history.

New toys at WonderCon

Spock looks like Leonard Nimoy, but Kirk looks like...Martin Sheen?

These are big, about 24" tall.

Show #103 - February 26

Episode 103 on MP3

Interview with Marjorie!
We need your suggestions for Look At His Butt Live!
More about Trek fragrances
Bill's photoshoot for Playboy - again
Kirk's Psychofile
Hilariously retitled Trek novels

Is It Just Me?

Or does it look like the "action" in this new action figure is um, well, you know Kirk is like "polishing" his ship and is about to totally blow his way out of the plastic?

I'm just sayin'.

Butt Girls LIVE!

FINALLY! Here we are performing at the Women on the Way Festival, presented by Footloose. Please comment and rate at YouTube! And come see us live at our next performance - details coming soon!

The Captain's Woman?

From go fuq yourself
"[Paula Abdul] seriously is the prettiest girl on all of Planet Prancyflanfg. I will never forget that episode of Star Trek where she and Captain Kirk almost run off to Oodleskerflong together and get married. You can see why he'd be into her: Kirk could never resist a lady in a beehive, and he could check out his own reflection in her belt/shoulder/glazed eyes."
Thanks, Wildcat for the heads-up!

Show 102.5 - Feb 7

Episode 102.5 on MP3

Our live debut!
The Ice Fishing video
Craptastic new Trek memorabilia
Star Trek The Tour coming to SF?
Bill on the Jonathan Ross show



Boardwalk goes for 500 quatloos

More Adult Swim

Love that ham!

Future Hotty

Jungle Kitty and William Shatner proudly announce the birth of their son, Future Hotty.













Thanks to BabyMaker 3000.

WARNING: Step back from the screen

Still goin' commando and packin' heat!
Click to--*gulp*--embiggen.

Wrath of Khan - The Opera

Bravo, Adult Swim!

Kirk and Spock Go Ice Fishing - now with pictures!

A gift from LT to JK. Hope you like it!

Actual dialog from the movie

Star Trek 90210

Come on, you can't tell me that the one in the middle doesn't look like Brandon Walsh.

Barbie Trek dolls will be available on April 20th.

Inaugural Enthusiasm!

Thanks, Fresca and Bink!
See more and make your own at Aretha's Hat Is Everywhere!

Help from Bill (The Negotiator)

We've always said he could give lessons.

Bill and ... wait for it ... The 3 Stooges!

Insert joke about hot air here.

Re-imagined Inauguration

Because of Kirk was swearing you in, you'd damn well better be the best at your job, Mister!

How many "A"s in Khaaaaaaan?

Awesomeness courtesy of BoingBoing and Greg:

As can be seen in this chart, "Google search results for "KH(Ax)N" for x=1 to 100," there's a real spike of "AAAAA"s around 40 and 50. That's a lot of reptitious typing! Also, you have to admire the bloody-minded perseverance of the folks over there at 97-100 "AAAAA"s. Also, RIP, Ricardo Montalban.

When I say it, it has about 50 "a"s. When JK does it, with Shatner tremors, it tops out over 100. I'm not kidding.

This would be even better with Bill

But what wouldn't?