Naughty, Naughty

Bill is thinking, "I can play dead with my downstage eye and look up Majel's skirt with my upstage eye. I'm such a good actor."

OMG! not

Back in the day, there was a story that the New York Post had the headline "JUDY ATTEMPTS SUICIDE" permanently set in type. For you young 'uns, it was a snarky reference to Judy Garland's frequent suicide attempts.

Modern-day examples of such headlines would include ELVIS SIGHTED, ANGELINA JOLIE ADOPTS ORPHAN, and now, Star Trek's contribution to this tiresome pantheon...

ELLISON SUES PARAMOUNT

According to TrekToday in an article by T'Bonz on March 15, 2009:

Harlan Ellison, writer of the award-winning City on the Edge of Forever original series episode, filed suit against Paramount on March 13 for failing to account to, or pay Ellison for the merchandising, publishing or any other exploitations of his famous teleplay.

Oh, Harlan. I bet you wish you could use the Guardian of Forever and unwrite that episode. Or would your massive ego prevent you from doing so?

Paging Denny Crane, Denny Crane...

THIS IS A DISASTER!

And fan-analysis of that ilk.



Oh, love them to eat them fanboys, fanboys what we love to eat, bite they little heads off, nibble at they tiny feet!

Name This Episode!

C'mon, EVE spotters! You can dop it!

Tiberius - The Cologne

Look at the spiffy bottle and box!



It's cologne from the Mirror Universe! I still think it'll smell like cat piss, but what do I know. Check out Red Shirt:


"Because tomorrow may never come" Snerk!

No picture yet of Pon Farr, which is supposed to be a *female* fragrance!

Show #103.5 - March 7

Episode 103.5 on MP3

More about our LIVE SHOW
WonderCon wrap up, esp. the Trek panel
A few more Bill tidbits

The Cage...in Legos! Parts 1, 2, and 3

Pike vs. the Talosians. Click through here for more fantastic Lego goodness!

And Part 2

And Part 3

The Making of the Cage


"THE WOMEN!"

Bill talks about SNL

This is too funny. I never thought about how Bill would freak out about the SNL "work ethic", being the consummate professional what he is. And of course he gave it 110% and "Get a Life" is now part of history.

New toys at WonderCon

Spock looks like Leonard Nimoy, but Kirk looks like...Martin Sheen?

These are big, about 24" tall.

Show #103 - February 26

Episode 103 on MP3

Interview with Marjorie!
We need your suggestions for Look At His Butt Live!
More about Trek fragrances
Bill's photoshoot for Playboy - again
Kirk's Psychofile
Hilariously retitled Trek novels

Is It Just Me?

Or does it look like the "action" in this new action figure is um, well, you know Kirk is like "polishing" his ship and is about to totally blow his way out of the plastic?

I'm just sayin'.

Butt Girls LIVE!

FINALLY! Here we are performing at the Women on the Way Festival, presented by Footloose. Please comment and rate at YouTube! And come see us live at our next performance - details coming soon!

The Captain's Woman?

From go fuq yourself
"[Paula Abdul] seriously is the prettiest girl on all of Planet Prancyflanfg. I will never forget that episode of Star Trek where she and Captain Kirk almost run off to Oodleskerflong together and get married. You can see why he'd be into her: Kirk could never resist a lady in a beehive, and he could check out his own reflection in her belt/shoulder/glazed eyes."
Thanks, Wildcat for the heads-up!

Show 102.5 - Feb 7

Episode 102.5 on MP3

Our live debut!
The Ice Fishing video
Craptastic new Trek memorabilia
Star Trek The Tour coming to SF?
Bill on the Jonathan Ross show



Boardwalk goes for 500 quatloos

More Adult Swim

Love that ham!

Future Hotty

Jungle Kitty and William Shatner proudly announce the birth of their son, Future Hotty.













Thanks to BabyMaker 3000.

WARNING: Step back from the screen

Still goin' commando and packin' heat!
Click to--*gulp*--embiggen.

Wrath of Khan - The Opera

Bravo, Adult Swim!

Kirk and Spock Go Ice Fishing - now with pictures!

A gift from LT to JK. Hope you like it!

Actual dialog from the movie

Star Trek 90210

Come on, you can't tell me that the one in the middle doesn't look like Brandon Walsh.

Barbie Trek dolls will be available on April 20th.

Inaugural Enthusiasm!

Thanks, Fresca and Bink!
See more and make your own at Aretha's Hat Is Everywhere!

Help from Bill (The Negotiator)

We've always said he could give lessons.

Bill and ... wait for it ... The 3 Stooges!

Insert joke about hot air here.

Re-imagined Inauguration

Because of Kirk was swearing you in, you'd damn well better be the best at your job, Mister!

How many "A"s in Khaaaaaaan?

Awesomeness courtesy of BoingBoing and Greg:

As can be seen in this chart, "Google search results for "KH(Ax)N" for x=1 to 100," there's a real spike of "AAAAA"s around 40 and 50. That's a lot of reptitious typing! Also, you have to admire the bloody-minded perseverance of the folks over there at 97-100 "AAAAA"s. Also, RIP, Ricardo Montalban.

When I say it, it has about 50 "a"s. When JK does it, with Shatner tremors, it tops out over 100. I'm not kidding.

This would be even better with Bill

But what wouldn't?

Women on the Way Festival! presented by Footloose

Don't forget to come see us and all the wonderful acts at the GALA on Saturday night! Check out this great coverage in the San Francisco Weekly:

William Shatner's Butt Girls host the Women on the Way Festival Benefit Performance and Party. The Butt Girls, aka Lene Taylor and Jungle Kitty, geek their way through dirty Star Trek jokes, Captain James T. Kirk–related games, and probably a mention or two of their blog, lookathisbutt.blogspot.com. They also introduce a sample platter of performers from the Women on the Way Festival, including comedian Samantha Chanse, singer Kikélomo Adedeji, and headlining sexy clown Summer Shapiro.
Sat., Jan. 17, 8 p.m., 2009

Don't forget! SATURDAY AT 8 PM!!!

Show #102 - Jan 12

Episode 102 on MP3

We talk about:
Bill on Jeopardy (he was a category)!
Ben Stiller (huge Trek fan)
Entertainment Weekly (why is Bill not on EVERY list?)
Rare TV videos
Bill as an "outlier" (Malcolm Gladwell's idea)
What Trek character was alone/lonely?


The gift that every Trek geek got for Xmas - including both of us!

More Christmas!!!

Lene's present to Kitty


As the guy in the framing store said, "Sweeeeeet."

New Year's Treksmut

NOT WORK SAFE (sort of)

"The Truth About Kirk and Spock" on MP3

A toast to 2009! Mazel Tov!

Footloose Presents Women On The Way Festival - BENEFIT PERFORMANCE & PARTY

Footloose Presents WOMEN ON THE WAY FESTIVAL BENEFIT PERFORMANCE & PARTY at Shotwell Studios
Saturday, January 17, 2009 8:00 pm until midnight
Calendars and descriptions for all festival shows at www.ftloose.org
Advance tickets at www.brownpapertickets.com/event/49360


Photo of Pumpdance Theater by Colin Hussey

See details below for descriptions and background on the artists in the benefit
NOTE: $25 donation (includes free ticket to another festival show)
Advance tickets at www.brownpapertickets.com/event/49360

All other shows for the WOW Festival at two venues:
THE GARAGE: 975 Howard St, San Francisco: Thur-Sun, Jan 15 - Feb 1, 2009
SHOTWELL STUDIOS: 3252-A 19th Street, San Francisco
NOTE: There are no shows at Shotwell on Thursday, January 15 and Friday, January 16, 2009 so we can get ready for the benefit
Festival programs at Shotwell Studios run Sunday, Jan 18, plus Thursdays-Sundays, January 22 through February 1, 2009
All Shows at 8 PM; Reservations: 415-289-2000
Tickets: $20 cash/checks only at the door; $15 seniors/students
$15 discount advance purchase with credit card at www.brownpapertickets.com or call 1-800-838-3006
Calendars and descriptions for all shows at www.ftloose.org

Shotwell Studios, located at 3252-A 19th Street in San Francisco's Mission district, is Footloose's own theater and will be the scene for the WOMEN ON THE WAY BENEFIT PERFORMANCE AND PARTY on SATURDAY JANUARY 17, 2009, 8:00 pm until midnight. Meet the artists, eat, drink, party and dance to DJ Cherry T. The festivities feature comedy, music, dance and burlesque performances hosted by William Shatner's Butt Girls. The stellar lineup includes Dr. Fantastic of Circus Finelli, Summer Shapiro, Pumpdance Theater, Stefanie Keys, Samantha Chanse, Kikélomo Adedeji, Joya Cory, Monsoon Dance Company, Ms. Killy Lee, The T Sisters, Ko Labs Theater Company, Vixen Noir, Kelly Bowker, Ara Glenn-Johanson, SoShe's Performance Collective, Pamela Mackenzie, plus Rosie Fry and Friends!

William Shatner's Butt Girls will host this marathon evening of talent with a sampler of the WOW Festival plus musical guests and comedy, comedy, comedy! Web personalities Jungle Kitty and Lene Taylor have been doing their podcast for three years and now go where no one has dared go before! Live onstage with Shatner games, Trektastic prizes and a special appearance by Captain Kirk's mom.

ACT I: 8:00-9:00
Introduction by Butt Girls
Dr. Fantastic, Circus Finelli clown
Rosie Fry and Friends, improv comedy
Joya Cory, theater
Ara Glenn-Johanson, singer
Pumpdance Theater: Pearl Marill and Cason MacBride, physical comedy
Karishma's Monsoon Dance Company Bollywood dance class and performance


ACT II: 9:15-10:15
Live music by Ko Labs Theater Company
Butt Girls interview with Captain Kirk's Mom
Kelly Bowker and dancers
Stefanie Keys, singer songwriter, guitarist
Summer Shapiro, clown comedy

ACT III: 10:30-11:45
Butt Girls Game Show
Pamela Mackenzie, comic theater
Samantha Chanse, standup comedy
Kikélomo Adedeji and Alan Choy, chanteuse and pianist
Vixen Noir, caberet
The T Sisters, singers
Ms. Killy Lee, burlesque dance
SoShe's Performance Collective


Stefanie Keys is a multi-talented singer songwriter from the Bay Area with a vocal range that covers balls to the wall R&B, funk and everything in between. Her new CD, Say You Will, includes Peter Keys of SeePeoples and P-funk, Dan Ingenthron on bass from SeePeoples, Jay Lane of RatDog, Dave Shul of Spearhead, Clip Payne of P-Funk, and the P-Funk Horn Players. Stefanie is "Powerful Soulful Magnetic JuJu" - Rhiannon www.myspace.com/stefaniekeys

Luz Gaxiola is Dr. Fantastic and a member of the female comedy circus troupe Circus Finelli, which tours and performs regularly in the Bay area. The doctor gives a demonstration of her invention H2Whoa! while fending off attacks from her nemesis, the FDA. www.Circusfinelli.com

Rosie Fry and Friends will tear it up with improvisational comedy by teenagers from Marin School of the Arts. Rosie Fry is a budding filmmaker with her own screen credit from the Altered Barbie Festival this past summer. See In Barbie's World on www.youtube.com for an unusual take on Barbie Mattel.

Pumpdance Theater director Pearl Marill duets with Cason MacBride in the hilarious audience favorite at the recent ODC Pilot, Missed Connection. They search Craigslist for love and find each other (sometimes). Pumpdance will perform at The Garage as part of WOW. "Pearl Marill is a choreographer with a future. Her movement and presentation ideas combine to keep the audience both intrigued and outrightly amused by her stories. "Remoter Control" is a selection of dance pieces that range from the silly to the sublime..." Paul Sinasohn, SF Bay Times

Samantha Chanse injects some dry wit into her standup comedy set to light up the night. Her solo theater piece, Back to the Graveyard, is having its premiere in the WOW festival at Shotwell. Sam presents her work locally and nationally. As a standup, she plays venues from bars to The Laugh Factory (NY and LA), the Purple Onion and the Herbst Theater. "Spiked with surreal celebrity trash-culture references, sardonic moral relativity, and Chanse's biting wit, LFV celebrates irreverent political incorrectness and the societal gray areas in all of us." Connie Hwong, Flavorpill For more, visit www.samanthachanse.com.

Kikélomo Adedeji communes with her high-heeled muse, Luscious who has finally found love and is going to sing about it with piano accompaniment by Alan Choy. Kiké is an actor, singer, and writer, acting in original musicals, plays, performance art pieces and her own solos; currently Tolula, which will be presented in February at the Ross Valley Players Solo Festival in Marin and in April at Shotwell Studios as part of the AIM residency program.

Monsoon Dance Company, founded by choreographer Karishma will perform fun, fast-paced dances to contemporary Indian film songs which are a fusion of Indian Bollywood moves with elements of jazz and hip-hop! "Try it out!" Karishma and group will start with a Bollywood lesson and teach basic moves to a song that her group will then perform! Karishma is a new teacher at Shotwell Studios starting in February with a Bollywood class on Wednesday evenings.

Photo of Karishma by Lydia Daniller

Joya Cory plays Elayne in The Most Beautiful Showgirl in the World, a short solo about an aging Las Vegas showgirl who tells her colorful story to a tabloid reporter, including her indictment on charges that she murdered her second husband. Written by Janet Johnston in Cory's Solo Performance Workshop, the piece was seen at The Marsh in 2006 and is now revived with freelance director and writer, Maureen Mary Studers. Cory has been an improviser and actor since 1971. Her original theatre pieces include The Dalai Lama Doesn't Need a Face Lift. She is a director, teaches Full Spectrum Improvisation, and leads communication and creativity trainings. www.joyacory.com

Pamela Mackenzie takes a wry eye to the American obsession with fat in her solo Fat is a 4-letter word, directed by Pamela Ciochetti as part of WOW at Shotwell. No matter what your body image, this hilarious take on living fat in a culture fixated on being thin will have you asking for more. Pamela has extensive regional theatre experience as a leading lady, supporting and chorus ensemble roles in musicals and operettas; plus director of various productions.

The T Sisters (Chloe, Rachel, and Erika Tietjen) will sing excerpts from their original music A Murmured Tale, based on The Little Mermaid by Hans Christian Anderson. Their style is a mix of haunting folk melodies, cascading harmonies, flamboyant group numbers and soulful wailing. They recently took the Starry Plough by storm and are on the open mic circuit picking up fans and new band members along the way. As Footloose AIM residents, they plan on performing the full blown version complete with wacky costumes in 2009.

Kelly Bowker, an AIM resident (who is showcasing new work at Shotwell on February 27 and 28, 2009),will bring dancers, Gretchen Garnett, Jaime Rangeley and Kristina Kirshner to perform their work in progress. Kelly will perform her solo, Le Moulin, a playful piece utilizing her gymnastic skills with quirky movement to music of the same name. Kelly has danced for Clancyworks, Catscratch Theater and Her Pic Productions and presented choreography at the American College Dance Festival, at Dance Mission and in ODC's pilot program.

Ara Glenn-Johanson will preview melodies from Earthstepper, her WOW solo which will be shown at the Garage. The piece layers dance, singing and vocal soundscaping into expressions of loneliness from across a thousand years: a 10th century poem, an 18th century folk ballad and a present day reflection. Ara's work has been shown in the Summer Performance Festival at The Garage, 2nd Sundays at CounterPULSE and the Celebrate Dance Festival in San Diego.

Ko Labs Theater Company will perform music from their experimental musical Endless Frontier. The full-length version is in the WOW festival at The Garage. Set against a giant mountain of junk, the cast turns the national pastime of consumption and expansion into the notion of Manifest Destiny. Director, Niki Selken, is an experimental playwright, performer and musician who debuted this production in the 2008 SF Fringe Festival. She is also DJ Cherry T and will be spinning for the WOW party. www.kolabs.org

Vixen Noir (aka Veronica C. Combs) will perform a teaser from Sweet Deliverance, her sexy, funny, edgy and raucous solo to be shown in its entirety as part of WOW at Shotwell. Vixen's fierce mix of storytelling, poetry, songs, burlesque and dance culminates in an explosive climax that might make you look at your own sexuality in a whole different light! www.unleashyourfire.com

Ms. Killy Lee the bootyful buccaneer shimmies to a shanty! But she needs your help, so participate or walk the plank! Ms. Killy Lee is the pirate persona of Kerri Lee Myers, a burlesque performer with Hot Pink Feathers who is also a dancer and choreographer with SoShe's Performance Collective performing in WOW at The Garage.

Soshe's Performance Collective will provide amusement by spoofing their ensemble in a smorgasbord of their work being presented at The Garage for the WOW festival. www.myspace.com/soshescollective

###

Footloose is funded in part by grants from the Zellerbach Family Fund, Grants for the Arts/San Francisco Hotel Tax, the Argosy Foundation, generous businesses and individuals. Corporate sponsors are Copy Central and the SF BAY GUARDIAN.

This is why the internet was created.

Phil Plait says, "If you are a Trek and a Who fan, then watch the whole thing, until the very end of the teaser for Part II. It is without any fear of exaggeration or contradiction when I say that it is the best thing ever to have happened ever in the history of everness. Ever." I disagree, because although there's Kirklight, Bill is NOT SHIRTLESS.

Do watch it all the way to the end. Heh.

Steampunk Trek!

Hop over to Rabittooth.com to see the rest!

Thanks to Logan and Xtian!

Phil Plait says "WAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNT!"

And so do we. From Trekmovie:

"Diamond T has announced in their ‘E Spectrum’ online newsletter the its first exclusive for Toys R’ Us is none other than an Admiral Kirk ‘Khaaaannnn!’ 7" action figure. The action figure commemorates the iconic moment when Kirk "doesn’t mince words" and "expresses his true feelings" about Khan from Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. Star Trek toys are already starting to show up at TRU, and the Kirk exclusive will be available soon.

William Shatner’s famous vocal oscillation has been featured on licensed t-shirts, however this is the first time the outburst has been rendered as an action figure. Star Trek II actually did not have any figures around its release, although Playmates did put out a Saavik and Khan in the 1990s and in 2007 DST started offering a whole set of figures and toys to celebrate the 25th Anniversary of Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. The line includes some exclusive and limited items, such as Captain Clarke Terrell and Genesis Radiation Khan action figures. Now, frustrated Kirk joins the line."

A tip of the telescope to the Bad Astronomer!

Thanks, Di!

Christmas Treksmut

NOT WORK SAFE

"Although It's Been Said Many Times, Many Ways" on MP3

The Nicest Thing...

From My Star Trek Scrapbook

We think that's his real hair. Thanks, Sean, for reminding us that this needed posting!

Christmas Tunes from Denny Crane

Helps him get laid? Well, why else would you sing that song?



Obviously, rehearsal paid off.

Go Bill! Go Boston Legal!

2009 SAG Award nominations:

Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Drama Series
MICHAEL C. HALL / Dexter Morgan - "DEXTER" (Showtime)
JON HAMM / Don Draper - "MAD MEN" (AMC)
HUGH LAURIE / Gregory House - "HOUSE" (FOX)
WILLIAM SHATNER / Denny Crane - "BOSTON LEGAL" (ABC)
JAMES SPADER / Alan Shore - "BOSTON LEGAL" (ABC)

Outstanding Performance by an Ensemble in a Drama Series
BOSTON LEGAL (ABC)
DEXTER (Showtime)
HOUSE (Fox)
MAD MEN (AMC)
THE CLOSER (TNT)

The SAG Awards will be simulcast live nationally on TNT and TBS on Sunday, Jan. 25, 2009.

C'mon, SAG voters! He deserves another award! And HE! WANTS! TO! WIN!

Show #101 - Dec 18

Episode 101 on MP3

Presents!
Check out My Star Trek Scrapbook (not JK's or Lene's)
Steampunk Trek!
Lene reviews Nemesis- read this great article by Christopher Priest
Muddness by Scarlet
Boston Legal finale - JK calls it!

Happy Holidays! Happy Monkey!


"Mego Star Trek Lt. Uhura And Capt. Kirk Figures 8"inches Tall!! Please Read The Description Good!! She is Sold As Parts Only!! Her Joints Are Good!! ~Not Tight!! She Has Some Marks on Her Neck! Her Lips Has Rubs! Her Hair is Dry And Messed Up! I Dont Know if it Was Cut!! She Has Some Marks on Her Body!! She Has Lines on Both Legs Going Down!! Her Skin Color is Light in Some Places! There Are No Clothes or Shoes For Her!!! Capt.Kirk is Great Condition! Tight Joints! Clean Clothes! No Head Rubs!"

Trek and Richard Simmons???

This is too funny. Merry Xmas!

Bill on Geraldo 1974

Two part interview, with blooper reel. Bill looks HAWT. Except for the shirt, which is dorky. I think he has a cold.

Note that at the con in NYC, Bill judged the costume contest and the women in it just jumped on him. Imagine that!

Part two has Leonard on the Mike Douglas show, talking about TMP - Leonard looks like he has his ST sideburns and haircut, so I think they must have just started filming. Then there's a piece from a 1994 TV special about his ST Memories. He also sounds like he has a cold!

Bill shills, 70s edition

JK sent this to me with the subject "Oh the awfulness of the 70s for Bill!" But please note that like always, he gives 110% and plays straight man to a guy in a penguin suit. That's a professional for you.

More Darmok!

This is turning into a subcategory of LAHB. If you haven't seen the Darmok episode, you need to. I don't care if you torrent it. It's great!

These images from Photoshop Phriday at Something Awful (from Jan 2007). Thanks to Logan and Christian for the link!

Rare Star Trek video 4/5 - (movie opening - fan reviews, interviews)

This video contains:

Coverage of opening day for ST:TMP, with lots of fan interviews, including filking!
GREAT interview with Bill, about his take on Kirk (we'll discuss this in an upcoming show) - don't know why he's dressed like Thurston Howell III
Interview with Leonard in which is he is completely equivocal about everything

Rare Star Trek video 3/5 (movie opening)

This video contains:

Movie premiere coverage, featuring clips of Joan Winston and Bjo Trimble and great footage from cons
More TV news from NYC about the opening - fans waiting on line and making sure we know they're TREKKERS, not Trekkies

Rare Star Trek video 2/5 (news coverage of TMP opening)

This video has:

A longish (7 min) clip from the movie (reminding me how boring it is - and this is an action sequence!)
News coverage of the premiere, with Hugh Downs (Bill in a bow tie! Nichelle without makeup!)

Rare Star Trek video - 1/5 (Con and movie coverage)

I was alerted to these vids recently - amazing stuff! There are 5 parts, so I'll post them consecutively with some notes.

This video contains:

Coverage of the NYC con in 1978 (by Barbara Feldon!) - check out Bill's shiny jacket - so hot!!
Annoucement of ST:TMP from a NYC TV station
Movie promo trailer, which seems to be narrated by the Exposition Police - I think this was not shown in theatres, but was sent to owners of movie theatres to get them to book the movie

Rare Trek video 5/5 (De Kelley interview)

Interview with DeForest Kelley on the release of Star Trek: The Motion Picture. What a great accent he has, and this is a wonderful interview. "Not a family reunion..."

Also some short clips with Stephen Collins, Persis Khambatta, and Gene Roddenberry.

Best Roddenberry quote: "We have the captain's love affair with his vessel, finally reunited with her...and it is almost sexual, the relationship of a man and a vessel like that..."

SEE I TOLD YOU SO!

Bill talks about celebrity impressions

He's so sunburned! Thanks, Jen!

Election 2012

Über-geek joke alert!

I thought this was hilarious. Christian sent it to Logan, who didn't get it, who sent it to me, and I cracked up. One of my favorute TNG eps.

Incident on a Dark Street

The lovely and talented Jen sent us a present! It's a bad Bill movie, and it looks absolutely horrible. How can I tell? First, check out the DVD cover (click to embiggen):



Even though I haven't seen this movie, I'm 100% sure that this particular scene does not appear in it. We will not see a not-Willliam-Shatner body with a photoshopped Captain Kirk head, cut off at the knees, standing in the dark alley that was used for filming "My Name Is Prince" and various Pat Benatar music videos.

Then you turn it over to see how Bill really looks in the movie:



Ack! The mustache! It burns us!

That said, I'm sure Bill gives 100% to his really crappy role in a really crappy movie. Look for a review in an upcoming show.

Thanks, Jen!

Show #100 - Dec 1

Episode 100 on MP3

The biggest, longest, not-safe-for-workiest LAHB EVER! Come celebrate with us for SHOW 100!

Wrath of Khan review - the RiffTrax version
TrekSpace thing
Horrifying sex toys (TOTALLY NSFW!!!) courtesy of Something Awful
Good hetfic with Kirk?
And a long discussion of everything

LT and JK Host Women on the Way!

It's us, hosting the opening night benefit! Bill would be so proud if he knew about it.